Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb
This is the true story of therapist Lori who has a practice in LA. She has a unique story of how she became a later in life therapist where she first was a writer in Hollywood on popular shows, and then went to medical school. But the most interesting thing about her is how willing she is to bare her soul in this book, and not bullshit her readers or herself. As she relates her time with her own therapist, her courage in vulnerability is stunning.
We become immersed in the lives of some of her clients-- Charlotte, Julie, Rita, and John. It feels like if we met them in real life, we'd instantly be frustrated with them (actually, not Julie). Their behavior can be so annoying, and they're dead wrong in how they see things. But that's not how Lori interacts with them. She gives them space without judgment. She can be still through their nonsense and slowly pick out what's bothering them, and then discover how she can be a mirror so they can recognize what they need to on their own and do their inner work.
This is also the case for how her own therapist helps her. She has to accept that he will see through her to her core, and will have to suffer through the embarrassment that comes with that kind of nakedness to get to the other side.
The intimacy that comes from this kind of work between therapist and patient is wonderfully touching. Lori's explanations of how therapy works and the theories behind it gave me clarity I'd been looking for.
Lori is a gifted writer, so the story read beautifully, and moves with elegance and grace. There was so much that she covered but it felt like I could have sat with her for eons and been riveted. I felt like I was growing right along with her and her patients.
General consensus: If you only read one book this year, make it this one.
Showing posts with label Non-Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Non-Fiction. Show all posts
Sunday, September 08, 2019
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Book Report #212 Lab Rats
Lab Rats by Dan Lyons
The writer of Disrupted is back with another book about Silicon Valley. Lab Rats carries the same tone as his previous work, and delves into the madness that people are experiencing at work. He is sympathetic to the suffering of employees, and explores its cause.
It gave me a lot to think about. I have new insight into how companies outside tech feel pushed to run like startups, even while startups are more like a religion than an actually successful business model. I learned about the effects of Milton Friedman's work that celebrates maximizing shareholder value. It's a system that mentally and emotionally destroys people. There's also the issue of change for no actual beneficial purpose. When people have no job stability whatsoever, they suffer hugely and the pain radiates out.
I appreciated that the book left off on a positive note. I enjoyed learning about ethically run businesses and ethical investing. I'm interested in ESG investing now (environmental, social, and governance), especially because it's showing positive returns. Hearing about the VCs at Kapor Capital was also heartening. There is a way to invest in companies that promotes a better world, and it can be wildly successful.
General consensus: While Dan can be a little over-the-top at times, and gloss over things that may require more nuance, I still think he gives good food for thought in a compelling way.
The writer of Disrupted is back with another book about Silicon Valley. Lab Rats carries the same tone as his previous work, and delves into the madness that people are experiencing at work. He is sympathetic to the suffering of employees, and explores its cause.
It gave me a lot to think about. I have new insight into how companies outside tech feel pushed to run like startups, even while startups are more like a religion than an actually successful business model. I learned about the effects of Milton Friedman's work that celebrates maximizing shareholder value. It's a system that mentally and emotionally destroys people. There's also the issue of change for no actual beneficial purpose. When people have no job stability whatsoever, they suffer hugely and the pain radiates out.
I appreciated that the book left off on a positive note. I enjoyed learning about ethically run businesses and ethical investing. I'm interested in ESG investing now (environmental, social, and governance), especially because it's showing positive returns. Hearing about the VCs at Kapor Capital was also heartening. There is a way to invest in companies that promotes a better world, and it can be wildly successful.
General consensus: While Dan can be a little over-the-top at times, and gloss over things that may require more nuance, I still think he gives good food for thought in a compelling way.
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Book Report #211 Adrift
Adrift by Tami Oldham Ashcraft
This is the incredible true story of young lovebirds Tami and Richard sailing a yacht from Tahiti to San Diego during hurricane season in the 80s. It's been made into a movie that I haven't seen.
Tragedy strikes when they are deep in a hurricane in the Pacific, and Richard is lost at sea. Tami has to keep herself together when she wakes up with a deep gash in her forehead and finds him missing, as well as their mast. Her story of survival is amazing, and it's interwoven with tales from her beautiful romance with Richard before the voyage.
Tami is honest and real in her accounts of everything that happened, and we should be honored that she trusts us with so much of her story. She's brave in every sense of the word.
General consensus: Gripping, heartbreaking, and life-changing.
This is the incredible true story of young lovebirds Tami and Richard sailing a yacht from Tahiti to San Diego during hurricane season in the 80s. It's been made into a movie that I haven't seen.
Tragedy strikes when they are deep in a hurricane in the Pacific, and Richard is lost at sea. Tami has to keep herself together when she wakes up with a deep gash in her forehead and finds him missing, as well as their mast. Her story of survival is amazing, and it's interwoven with tales from her beautiful romance with Richard before the voyage.
Tami is honest and real in her accounts of everything that happened, and we should be honored that she trusts us with so much of her story. She's brave in every sense of the word.
General consensus: Gripping, heartbreaking, and life-changing.
Friday, September 21, 2018
Book Report #209 Into the Raging Sea
Into the Raging Sea by Rachel Slade
This is the engrossing true story of the sinking of the cargo ship El Faro off the Bahamas in 2015. They sailed into the eye of Hurricane Joaquin and lost 33 lives. The author interviews everyone even remotely involved that she can find, and uses only dialogue from the actual ship that was found on an audio recording after the sinking.
We get a look into what it takes to sail a large vessel, the harrowing journey of the crew, the response from emergency services and the Coast Guard, the family's reactions, and the resulting investigation. We are forced to conclude that a lot of what went wrong boiled down to corporate greed.
General consensus: I learned a ton about the merchant marine, Coast Guard, and the shipping industry in a captivating way.
This is the engrossing true story of the sinking of the cargo ship El Faro off the Bahamas in 2015. They sailed into the eye of Hurricane Joaquin and lost 33 lives. The author interviews everyone even remotely involved that she can find, and uses only dialogue from the actual ship that was found on an audio recording after the sinking.
We get a look into what it takes to sail a large vessel, the harrowing journey of the crew, the response from emergency services and the Coast Guard, the family's reactions, and the resulting investigation. We are forced to conclude that a lot of what went wrong boiled down to corporate greed.
General consensus: I learned a ton about the merchant marine, Coast Guard, and the shipping industry in a captivating way.
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Book Report #197 - The Radium Girls
The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America's Shining Women by Kate Moore
In the Roaring Twenties, there were lucky girls who were paid handsomely to paint radium onto watch dials. They were called the dial-painters. They went to work in the beautiful dresses they bought with their generous wages. They dipped their brushes in radium paint, put the brushes in their mouths to make the bristles into a point, and then painted carefully. They were paid per watch and each one was examined thoroughly so they wanted to work quickly but accurately.
It took a few years before the first dial-painter watched her tooth fall out and the wound never heal. How quickly it went: the girls started experiencing terrible pain all over their bodies, and helplessly watched their teeth fall out. Some even had their jawbones come out in their hands.
It was the radium. The radium that everyone was so convinced was healthy. These girls were lucky to work with it, and they were beautiful as their dresses and hair shone in the dark while they walked home from work. At least, that's what their company would have them believe.
The way they could suffer was horrific; their bones decaying right in their bodies. I can barely even bring myself to think about it. It took some time before doctors could put together that it was radium poisoning because there had never been radium poisoning before! But the radium companies fought these girls tooth and nail, insisting they were wrong. They insisted that the girls didn't get sick because of anything work-related. The way they could lie and cheat was hard to stomach. It became clear they were essentially getting away with murder.
I was surprised at how glued to the book I was when it was so sad, and on the surface, could seem repetitive. Every new piece of information was a revelation. Every girl I read about was a separate and important case. I cared about them so much, and I think I always will. What they managed to accomplish in court helps protect us today. We owe them so much gratitude.
General consensus: Shocking, and left me emotionally gutted. But such an important read!
In the Roaring Twenties, there were lucky girls who were paid handsomely to paint radium onto watch dials. They were called the dial-painters. They went to work in the beautiful dresses they bought with their generous wages. They dipped their brushes in radium paint, put the brushes in their mouths to make the bristles into a point, and then painted carefully. They were paid per watch and each one was examined thoroughly so they wanted to work quickly but accurately.
It took a few years before the first dial-painter watched her tooth fall out and the wound never heal. How quickly it went: the girls started experiencing terrible pain all over their bodies, and helplessly watched their teeth fall out. Some even had their jawbones come out in their hands.
It was the radium. The radium that everyone was so convinced was healthy. These girls were lucky to work with it, and they were beautiful as their dresses and hair shone in the dark while they walked home from work. At least, that's what their company would have them believe.
The way they could suffer was horrific; their bones decaying right in their bodies. I can barely even bring myself to think about it. It took some time before doctors could put together that it was radium poisoning because there had never been radium poisoning before! But the radium companies fought these girls tooth and nail, insisting they were wrong. They insisted that the girls didn't get sick because of anything work-related. The way they could lie and cheat was hard to stomach. It became clear they were essentially getting away with murder.
I was surprised at how glued to the book I was when it was so sad, and on the surface, could seem repetitive. Every new piece of information was a revelation. Every girl I read about was a separate and important case. I cared about them so much, and I think I always will. What they managed to accomplish in court helps protect us today. We owe them so much gratitude.
General consensus: Shocking, and left me emotionally gutted. But such an important read!
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Book Report #194 - Orange Is the New Black
Orange Is the New Black by Piper Kerman
I had no idea it was a book before it was a hit show until I came across it on my library app. Since I can't handle how raw the show is, I was delighted to discover I could instead read Piper's story about her time in prison, and get it straight from the source.
Piper Kerman came from a high-achieving WASP family on the East Coast. She went to a liberal arts college for women, and dabbled in loving the ladies. Upon graduation, she was bored and lost, and found herself taking up with her exotic and adventurous neighbor, Nora. That took her on a wild ride of international drug trading and money laundering, where the reader is left wondering what the hell she's doing because nothing can explain away how clearly batshit crazy it is. There's no way to hide that she's out of her mind and going to get in serious trouble, no matter how many times she says she wasn't really clear on what was going on and this is the very type of thing lost college grads can find themselves falling into.
She ended up serving fifteen months in prison ten months after she walked away from it all. When the Feds finally come calling, she's a high-achieving WASP like her family would expect, and she's also on the straight and narrow, in a committed relationship with a nice man named Larry.
Piper wasn't the typical prisoner and got plenty of second looks from both prisoners and prison staff. Not only did she look different, but her friends and family loaded her up with books that were falling out of her cell locker. The thing that bothered me was she seemed to identify with it. She really believed she wasn't like the others. I wanted to scream.
Then something shifted in her. Deep into her sentence, she really opened up and she got it. Her transformation was beautiful to read, and her work for female prisoners' rights these days deserves a standing ovation.
Fun fact: Martha Stewart was sentenced while Piper was in prison and she was supposed to go to Piper's prison, Danbury, but at the last minute was sent somewhere else.
General consensus: An interesting but also educational read about the US prison system.
I had no idea it was a book before it was a hit show until I came across it on my library app. Since I can't handle how raw the show is, I was delighted to discover I could instead read Piper's story about her time in prison, and get it straight from the source.
Piper Kerman came from a high-achieving WASP family on the East Coast. She went to a liberal arts college for women, and dabbled in loving the ladies. Upon graduation, she was bored and lost, and found herself taking up with her exotic and adventurous neighbor, Nora. That took her on a wild ride of international drug trading and money laundering, where the reader is left wondering what the hell she's doing because nothing can explain away how clearly batshit crazy it is. There's no way to hide that she's out of her mind and going to get in serious trouble, no matter how many times she says she wasn't really clear on what was going on and this is the very type of thing lost college grads can find themselves falling into.
She ended up serving fifteen months in prison ten months after she walked away from it all. When the Feds finally come calling, she's a high-achieving WASP like her family would expect, and she's also on the straight and narrow, in a committed relationship with a nice man named Larry.
Piper wasn't the typical prisoner and got plenty of second looks from both prisoners and prison staff. Not only did she look different, but her friends and family loaded her up with books that were falling out of her cell locker. The thing that bothered me was she seemed to identify with it. She really believed she wasn't like the others. I wanted to scream.
Then something shifted in her. Deep into her sentence, she really opened up and she got it. Her transformation was beautiful to read, and her work for female prisoners' rights these days deserves a standing ovation.
Fun fact: Martha Stewart was sentenced while Piper was in prison and she was supposed to go to Piper's prison, Danbury, but at the last minute was sent somewhere else.
General consensus: An interesting but also educational read about the US prison system.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Book Report #188 - Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder
Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder: Pronged Ants, Horned Humans, Mice on Toast, and Other Marvels of Jurassic Technology by Lawrence Weschler
I tagged this with categories that seem opposed: non-fiction and magical realism. That's because the book is about the Museum of Jurassic Technology in Los Angeles. Museums are reputable institutions intending to share information. So that's non-fiction, right? The thing is, this museum is dedicated to the Lower Jurassic period and people are fuzzy on whether that's actually a thing.
I'm relatively certain it's not a thing but since I love this museum and this book so much, I haven't shut the door on it. Maybe there is a Lower Jurassic period and they simply neglected to tell me about it in school?
And that's the best thing about the museum and the most riveting part of this book. You can't say for sure what's real and what's not. The author was lucky enough to know the museum's founder, David Wilson, personally and he shares stories about their encounters. Mr. Wilson runs the museum at a loss, barely hanging on, and handles the front desk himself, taking accordion breaks on Venice Boulevard as necessary.
We get a tour of the museum's exhibits, and they seem absurd at first, but then you get a serious, museum-like explanation and you think, maybe. But the explanation seemed to expect you were aware of the existence of the item you're considering, like the horn of a human woman, and you weren't at all, and it builds on that assumption, starting strong but then meandering to seemingly unrelated matters, and then ending in a fashion where you're left wondering how it connected to anything previously said. Yet, that doesn't make it wrong. It just makes you confused. And is that really so different from most things you read in museums?
The thing about the micro-miniature sculptures, so tiny they're housed in the eyes of needles, is that I saw them with my own eyes, so I can't say they're not real. But is the story about the artist, who created these at night after his family went to sleep, so careful he did it between heartbeats, so precise his paintbrush was a human hair, true? I think it might be. So if that's true, what does that say about the other exhibits? And what is the significance of the hall of oil paintings of dogs of the Soviet Space Program?
The book even delves into how Mr. Wilson came to have many of the pieces in the museum, so maybe we're left with knowing something but maybe not, and the history of collections like this before the Age of Enlightenment. It warmed my heart to know that there was a time when even the West was infatuated with wonder and awe.
General consensus: The most thrilling and delightful ride I've had in any academic pursuit.
I tagged this with categories that seem opposed: non-fiction and magical realism. That's because the book is about the Museum of Jurassic Technology in Los Angeles. Museums are reputable institutions intending to share information. So that's non-fiction, right? The thing is, this museum is dedicated to the Lower Jurassic period and people are fuzzy on whether that's actually a thing.
I'm relatively certain it's not a thing but since I love this museum and this book so much, I haven't shut the door on it. Maybe there is a Lower Jurassic period and they simply neglected to tell me about it in school?
And that's the best thing about the museum and the most riveting part of this book. You can't say for sure what's real and what's not. The author was lucky enough to know the museum's founder, David Wilson, personally and he shares stories about their encounters. Mr. Wilson runs the museum at a loss, barely hanging on, and handles the front desk himself, taking accordion breaks on Venice Boulevard as necessary.
We get a tour of the museum's exhibits, and they seem absurd at first, but then you get a serious, museum-like explanation and you think, maybe. But the explanation seemed to expect you were aware of the existence of the item you're considering, like the horn of a human woman, and you weren't at all, and it builds on that assumption, starting strong but then meandering to seemingly unrelated matters, and then ending in a fashion where you're left wondering how it connected to anything previously said. Yet, that doesn't make it wrong. It just makes you confused. And is that really so different from most things you read in museums?
The thing about the micro-miniature sculptures, so tiny they're housed in the eyes of needles, is that I saw them with my own eyes, so I can't say they're not real. But is the story about the artist, who created these at night after his family went to sleep, so careful he did it between heartbeats, so precise his paintbrush was a human hair, true? I think it might be. So if that's true, what does that say about the other exhibits? And what is the significance of the hall of oil paintings of dogs of the Soviet Space Program?
The book even delves into how Mr. Wilson came to have many of the pieces in the museum, so maybe we're left with knowing something but maybe not, and the history of collections like this before the Age of Enlightenment. It warmed my heart to know that there was a time when even the West was infatuated with wonder and awe.
General consensus: The most thrilling and delightful ride I've had in any academic pursuit.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Book Report #178 Hillbilly Elegy
Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance
J.D. tells the story of how he went from rural Kentucky to Middletown, Ohio to Yale Law School. He's beautifully vulnerable about his experiences and open about all aspects of hillbilly culture. There's the fierce loyalty his family members have for each other, as well as extreme poverty and addiction. He explains that there are hard-working folk living alongside lazy complainers and addicts. J.D. shows that there are different types of white people living in this country, and they shouldn't all be painted with the same brush.
This point is clearly made when J.D. reaches Yale Law School, and is playing a game on a totally different level; one where he has absolutely no experience. By appearance, he belongs there. But by upbringing, he's lost.
I remember my friend telling me how hard it is for poor white men to advance in society. J.D. reflected on how easily he could have been a cautionary tale, if things had just gone a little differently. Instead, he married a beautiful woman from his law school, built a successful career, and was loved through his growth out of his explosive hillbilly tendencies.
General consensus: A rare raw look at life as a hillbilly, this one with a very happy ending. Highly thought-provoking.
J.D. tells the story of how he went from rural Kentucky to Middletown, Ohio to Yale Law School. He's beautifully vulnerable about his experiences and open about all aspects of hillbilly culture. There's the fierce loyalty his family members have for each other, as well as extreme poverty and addiction. He explains that there are hard-working folk living alongside lazy complainers and addicts. J.D. shows that there are different types of white people living in this country, and they shouldn't all be painted with the same brush.
This point is clearly made when J.D. reaches Yale Law School, and is playing a game on a totally different level; one where he has absolutely no experience. By appearance, he belongs there. But by upbringing, he's lost.
I remember my friend telling me how hard it is for poor white men to advance in society. J.D. reflected on how easily he could have been a cautionary tale, if things had just gone a little differently. Instead, he married a beautiful woman from his law school, built a successful career, and was loved through his growth out of his explosive hillbilly tendencies.
General consensus: A rare raw look at life as a hillbilly, this one with a very happy ending. Highly thought-provoking.
Sunday, May 07, 2017
Book Report #177 Drop the Ball
Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less by Tiffany Dufu
Tiffany Dufu is a super accomplished woman (I can't even begin to start detailing all her achievements) who got vulnerable and wrote a book about how she managed to drop the ball.
By dropping the ball, she means no longer trying to be a perfectionist as a wife, mother, and employee. She realizes she doesn't have to do it all flawlessly; she can let go of her need to control and instead enlist the help of others, and even do so with joy. She learns that, although scary at first, this approach is actually healthier and better for everybody. It's an approach that leads to her whole family thriving.
It's a highly readable book, peppered with Tiffany's personal anecdotes, as well as supporting research. The introduction by Gloria Steinem is magnificent.
I felt a little left out because I'm a high-achieving single woman, and the book was positioned for high-achieving married mothers. I don't have a husband who can help me drop the ball, so I'm not sure how to employ a lot of her advice. I decided to read it for when I have my own family more than for my current situation.
General consensus: Great ideas to facilitate conversation and gender equality.
Tiffany Dufu is a super accomplished woman (I can't even begin to start detailing all her achievements) who got vulnerable and wrote a book about how she managed to drop the ball.
By dropping the ball, she means no longer trying to be a perfectionist as a wife, mother, and employee. She realizes she doesn't have to do it all flawlessly; she can let go of her need to control and instead enlist the help of others, and even do so with joy. She learns that, although scary at first, this approach is actually healthier and better for everybody. It's an approach that leads to her whole family thriving.
It's a highly readable book, peppered with Tiffany's personal anecdotes, as well as supporting research. The introduction by Gloria Steinem is magnificent.
I felt a little left out because I'm a high-achieving single woman, and the book was positioned for high-achieving married mothers. I don't have a husband who can help me drop the ball, so I'm not sure how to employ a lot of her advice. I decided to read it for when I have my own family more than for my current situation.
General consensus: Great ideas to facilitate conversation and gender equality.
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Book Report #174 Feminist Fight Club
Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace by Jessica Bennett
If you're looking for a light read that has some good ideas about how to handle sexism in your workplace, look no further. The recommendation for women to have a support group to help them keep up morale while fighting sexism is good. And there were solid ideas of how to go about the fight.
I personally didn't find it that useful because in my experience, sexism in the workplace is often a complicated matter. If there were no negative repercussions to women speaking up, then it wouldn't be that hard. But there are a lot of reasons women find themselves unable to be bold in the face of sexism and harassment. I didn't feel like the book validated that.
If a woman has been abused and/or assaulted, sexually or otherwise, some of the fight can go out of her (especially if it's happening repeatedly). Also, women don't want to lose their jobs or face retaliation, so they are often scrambling for ways to play the game while still standing up for themselves. It's a dance where misstepping could have serious consequences.
So yeah, it's cool to read a book that's very rah-rah about how to go about fighting sexism in the workplace, but I felt like it wasn't taking into consideration some of the larger problems at play. And that was disappointing.
General consensus: Was looking for something a bit deeper so didn't do the trick for me.
If you're looking for a light read that has some good ideas about how to handle sexism in your workplace, look no further. The recommendation for women to have a support group to help them keep up morale while fighting sexism is good. And there were solid ideas of how to go about the fight.
I personally didn't find it that useful because in my experience, sexism in the workplace is often a complicated matter. If there were no negative repercussions to women speaking up, then it wouldn't be that hard. But there are a lot of reasons women find themselves unable to be bold in the face of sexism and harassment. I didn't feel like the book validated that.
If a woman has been abused and/or assaulted, sexually or otherwise, some of the fight can go out of her (especially if it's happening repeatedly). Also, women don't want to lose their jobs or face retaliation, so they are often scrambling for ways to play the game while still standing up for themselves. It's a dance where misstepping could have serious consequences.
So yeah, it's cool to read a book that's very rah-rah about how to go about fighting sexism in the workplace, but I felt like it wasn't taking into consideration some of the larger problems at play. And that was disappointing.
General consensus: Was looking for something a bit deeper so didn't do the trick for me.
Sunday, October 02, 2016
Book Report #170 - Disrupted
Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble by Dan Lyons
Dan Lyons was a big-shot at Newsweek until the Internet disrupted his industry and he was let go. He was 52 when he started looking for a new job, and ended up taking a position at HubSpot in Boston. HubSpot appeared to be a promising marketing startup where the cofounders were excited to have him on board.
He took the position based on the promise that he would be doing exciting work that suited him. Yet on day one, nobody knew what to do with him and the cofounders were nowhere to be found.
He discovered that the company was comprised mostly of twenty-year olds fresh out of college who all looked like they were cut from the same mold. He was twice the age of the average HubSpot employee. They were happy to drink the Kool-Aid and be ambassadors of the company culture. They were proud of their candy wall, and sported the orange branded garb that they were given. They were enthusiastic, and threw around acronyms and the word awesome constantly.
For Dan, it was a bit of a creepy place and it was obvious he didn't fit in. But he had to make it work because his family depended on his salary and benefits.
Dan describes in detail how companies like HubSpot operate at large losses but still make plenty of money for the people on top. It's the VC game and everyone's looking to IPO. The dramatic element to the story is: will HubSpot IPO before Dan is gone?
I had some reservations about how Dan would unabashedly call his young coworkers dumb. But I did go on the HubSpot website and verify a lot of what he said. All the pictures are of young white people hanging out and having fun. I would also be driven nuts by that. It's work! Why should people be paid to hang out and why is that such a priority? And wtf is going on with the total disregard for diversity?
As a software developer, I found it difficult to believe I was getting a balanced picture of Silicon Valley when Dan had no insight into what it's like to be an engineer, even though he's one of the writers of the HBO show Silicon Valley.
It's a quick, easy read but I was surprised at the editorial mistakes I found. Words spelled incorrectly. Date inconsistencies. It's like this book was rushed to the press.
General consensus: Worth the read but obviously heavily biased.
Dan Lyons was a big-shot at Newsweek until the Internet disrupted his industry and he was let go. He was 52 when he started looking for a new job, and ended up taking a position at HubSpot in Boston. HubSpot appeared to be a promising marketing startup where the cofounders were excited to have him on board.
He took the position based on the promise that he would be doing exciting work that suited him. Yet on day one, nobody knew what to do with him and the cofounders were nowhere to be found.
He discovered that the company was comprised mostly of twenty-year olds fresh out of college who all looked like they were cut from the same mold. He was twice the age of the average HubSpot employee. They were happy to drink the Kool-Aid and be ambassadors of the company culture. They were proud of their candy wall, and sported the orange branded garb that they were given. They were enthusiastic, and threw around acronyms and the word awesome constantly.
For Dan, it was a bit of a creepy place and it was obvious he didn't fit in. But he had to make it work because his family depended on his salary and benefits.
Dan describes in detail how companies like HubSpot operate at large losses but still make plenty of money for the people on top. It's the VC game and everyone's looking to IPO. The dramatic element to the story is: will HubSpot IPO before Dan is gone?
I had some reservations about how Dan would unabashedly call his young coworkers dumb. But I did go on the HubSpot website and verify a lot of what he said. All the pictures are of young white people hanging out and having fun. I would also be driven nuts by that. It's work! Why should people be paid to hang out and why is that such a priority? And wtf is going on with the total disregard for diversity?
As a software developer, I found it difficult to believe I was getting a balanced picture of Silicon Valley when Dan had no insight into what it's like to be an engineer, even though he's one of the writers of the HBO show Silicon Valley.
It's a quick, easy read but I was surprised at the editorial mistakes I found. Words spelled incorrectly. Date inconsistencies. It's like this book was rushed to the press.
General consensus: Worth the read but obviously heavily biased.
Saturday, May 07, 2016
Book Report #165 - Between the World and Me
Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Coates writes a letter to his son reflecting on what it is to be Black in America. It's only 150 pages, but I had to read it slowly over a month because it was so dense with insights that got right into the fabric of my being. They broke me open, and it was painful. I wanted to hide sometimes but I knew there was no way but through. If I want to be fully compassionate, I need to hear these things and let them touch me.
I didn't know about the fear that many black people feel because they have endured a history of horrible violence, and I didn't know how that fear informed so much of their behavior that I have been hopeless to understand. I didn't know that the lyrics of many rap songs that I listen to without a second thought hold the blueprints of this fear. A quarter of the way through the book, I listened to Changes by TuPac and cried.
Now, when I think about the US Prison System, I am enraged. I see how it is designed to hold Blacks and Hispanics down. I understand more about why Senator Booker's work on changing the prison system is so important to him.
The book doesn't leave you with a sense of hope like a Disney movie would. There's no way to wrap up what Coates has said with a pretty bow. Isn't it up to us, what happens next?
I so appreciate Coates writing this and sharing it with the world. It's like he's found the language that can't help but get through to people, gently but forcefully. I definitely needed this wake-up call, and I'll think of his words often, maybe every day.
General consensus: Life can be broken up into two parts: The time before you read Between the World and Me, and the time after you read it. It is that transformative.
Coates writes a letter to his son reflecting on what it is to be Black in America. It's only 150 pages, but I had to read it slowly over a month because it was so dense with insights that got right into the fabric of my being. They broke me open, and it was painful. I wanted to hide sometimes but I knew there was no way but through. If I want to be fully compassionate, I need to hear these things and let them touch me.
I didn't know about the fear that many black people feel because they have endured a history of horrible violence, and I didn't know how that fear informed so much of their behavior that I have been hopeless to understand. I didn't know that the lyrics of many rap songs that I listen to without a second thought hold the blueprints of this fear. A quarter of the way through the book, I listened to Changes by TuPac and cried.
Now, when I think about the US Prison System, I am enraged. I see how it is designed to hold Blacks and Hispanics down. I understand more about why Senator Booker's work on changing the prison system is so important to him.
The book doesn't leave you with a sense of hope like a Disney movie would. There's no way to wrap up what Coates has said with a pretty bow. Isn't it up to us, what happens next?
I so appreciate Coates writing this and sharing it with the world. It's like he's found the language that can't help but get through to people, gently but forcefully. I definitely needed this wake-up call, and I'll think of his words often, maybe every day.
General consensus: Life can be broken up into two parts: The time before you read Between the World and Me, and the time after you read it. It is that transformative.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Book Report #163 - Don't Make Me Think, Revisited
Don't Make Me Think, Revisited: A Common Sense Approach to Web Usability (3rd Edition) by Steve Krug
This is apparently a very popular book on user experience or UX, formerly known as usability. It's a quick read on glossy pages with lots of pictures, footnotes, and quotations. The writer says early on it was intended to be a quick read that could be done on a few hour plane ride.
I hate to be hard on this book because maybe if I didn't have experience with building apps as a front end developer, it would have been super useful. But because I'm thinking about these issues constantly, it seemed like it was mostly a gloss. It didn't offer anything that deep, and I was really hungry for stuff that wasn't obvious. But maybe that's on me because he does say in the subtitle that it's a common sense approach.
What really surprised me was that he said websites should have concise verbiage. He quoted E.B. White on how to chop what you've written in half, and then start taking stuff out. But his book was full of fluff and nonsense! I know he had to round out his page count with the points he had, but I didn't appreciate it when he was so serious about his points for web pages.
General consensus: The book barely made me think.
This is apparently a very popular book on user experience or UX, formerly known as usability. It's a quick read on glossy pages with lots of pictures, footnotes, and quotations. The writer says early on it was intended to be a quick read that could be done on a few hour plane ride.
I hate to be hard on this book because maybe if I didn't have experience with building apps as a front end developer, it would have been super useful. But because I'm thinking about these issues constantly, it seemed like it was mostly a gloss. It didn't offer anything that deep, and I was really hungry for stuff that wasn't obvious. But maybe that's on me because he does say in the subtitle that it's a common sense approach.
What really surprised me was that he said websites should have concise verbiage. He quoted E.B. White on how to chop what you've written in half, and then start taking stuff out. But his book was full of fluff and nonsense! I know he had to round out his page count with the points he had, but I didn't appreciate it when he was so serious about his points for web pages.
General consensus: The book barely made me think.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Book Report #159 Modern Romance
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari
I love him as a comedian, and appreciate him as a smart guy. So I'm pleased he wrote a book about what's going on with dating these days in his hilarious style.
When I read the first page, I burst out laughing at a bookstore. I could hear his voice, and it made it even funnier because I know his rhythm and how he delivers his punchlines. But it's not all fun and games. He presents in an organized fashion what dating was like for his parents and how it's hugely changed to what it is now. He explores that in a non-judgmental way and does a lot of his own research.
Basically, Aziz saw that this information was lacking out in the world so he went and compiled a bunch of data and then shared what he learned. He explored dating throughout the past 100 years, dating in various countries (visiting Japan, Argentina, and France), and tried to figure out what wasn't working, and what we could do to make things work.
I'm going to recommend it to my mom and her best friend. I think they'd be shocked to learn what dating is like these days, and I think Aziz would entertain the snot out of them. But they can't have my book because there's a line of people waiting to borrow it.
General consensus: Had a good time, learned some important things, and feel subtly changed for the better.
I love him as a comedian, and appreciate him as a smart guy. So I'm pleased he wrote a book about what's going on with dating these days in his hilarious style.
When I read the first page, I burst out laughing at a bookstore. I could hear his voice, and it made it even funnier because I know his rhythm and how he delivers his punchlines. But it's not all fun and games. He presents in an organized fashion what dating was like for his parents and how it's hugely changed to what it is now. He explores that in a non-judgmental way and does a lot of his own research.
Basically, Aziz saw that this information was lacking out in the world so he went and compiled a bunch of data and then shared what he learned. He explored dating throughout the past 100 years, dating in various countries (visiting Japan, Argentina, and France), and tried to figure out what wasn't working, and what we could do to make things work.
I'm going to recommend it to my mom and her best friend. I think they'd be shocked to learn what dating is like these days, and I think Aziz would entertain the snot out of them. But they can't have my book because there's a line of people waiting to borrow it.
General consensus: Had a good time, learned some important things, and feel subtly changed for the better.
Friday, September 18, 2015
Book Report #157 The Bridges of Madison County
The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller
I'd never seen the movie before. Always assumed it would be boring and saccharine. But when I was checking out the selection at a Park City, Utah coffee shop/bookstore, I decided to give it a whirl.
On the plane, I offered it to my seatmate when she appeared to run out of reading material. She politely declined, then asked me incredulously, "You haven't read it yet? You have to!" She said it's a quick read.
So I read it a few days later. She did not tell me that it would get into the fabric of my being and that I would sit here rocked, exposed and raw, hours after finishing. But I have a feeling she knew, and she thought it would be a good thing.
On the surface, it is kind of a boring story. A roving photographer for National Geographic shows up in the sleepy country in Iowa looking to shoot the seven covered bridges in the area. He asks a housewife for directions, and they have a spark. They have an affair and then she opts to stay with her family (who were currently out of town), rather than run away with him.
But there's something wholly unquantifiable about this story, and how it's written. I felt everything deeply, and it was gentle in how it delivered. It was huge but it was humble. It was greater than its parts but it had little fancy language. It was simple but life-altering.
General consensus: Absolutely beautiful.
I'd never seen the movie before. Always assumed it would be boring and saccharine. But when I was checking out the selection at a Park City, Utah coffee shop/bookstore, I decided to give it a whirl.
On the plane, I offered it to my seatmate when she appeared to run out of reading material. She politely declined, then asked me incredulously, "You haven't read it yet? You have to!" She said it's a quick read.
So I read it a few days later. She did not tell me that it would get into the fabric of my being and that I would sit here rocked, exposed and raw, hours after finishing. But I have a feeling she knew, and she thought it would be a good thing.
On the surface, it is kind of a boring story. A roving photographer for National Geographic shows up in the sleepy country in Iowa looking to shoot the seven covered bridges in the area. He asks a housewife for directions, and they have a spark. They have an affair and then she opts to stay with her family (who were currently out of town), rather than run away with him.
But there's something wholly unquantifiable about this story, and how it's written. I felt everything deeply, and it was gentle in how it delivered. It was huge but it was humble. It was greater than its parts but it had little fancy language. It was simple but life-altering.
General consensus: Absolutely beautiful.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Book Report #146 - The Worst Date Ever or How It Took A Comedy Writer To Expose Africa's Secret War
The Worst Date Ever or How It Took A Comedy Writer To Expose Africa's Secret War by Jane Bussman
A British woman who wrote garbage columns on celebrities while hating Hollywood (I was about to say "Hollywood culture" but that's too generous) decided to make a change, and while reading Vanity Fair got a crush on a fetching American human rights activist (that's not generous enough) and followed him to Africa. Except he left Africa and said he'd be right back but he got busy and she was in Uganda on her own.
She was writing an article for the Sunday Times on the what was going down, and had to breeze by a remote school to volunteer teach. The whole thing was a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants affair, and had allusions to celebrities throughout. How unnerving it was to read must have been a taste of how unnerving it was to actually have gone through it. Huge props to Jane.
In her nosing around, and in between her camera, computer and notebook being stolen, Jane uncovered that the bastard child army guy Kony actually was asking for peace talks and it was the very Ugandan government that was sabotaging them. Furthermore, it was to the selfish Ugandan government's benefit to force 1.6 million people out of their homes and into camps under the guise of security, but instead to take advantage of them and brutalize them. It wasn't to protect them from Kony at all.
The whole thing stinks to high heaven, and meanwhile other countries turn their head and let it go on. It's maddening and sickening and revolting and...let this sentence run in the background because it needs to go on for some time.
Jane discovered that the NGOs are actually unwittingly offsetting the corrupt government's budget by providing aid. Of course, the aid is necessary. It's too bad the system in which it's being delivered is such a colossal mess.
General consensus: Highly readable. Hugely shocking. Vital message (about Uganda, of course, but there's also some stuff about Hollywood that will surprise). Suggest you read it, and get back to me.
A British woman who wrote garbage columns on celebrities while hating Hollywood (I was about to say "Hollywood culture" but that's too generous) decided to make a change, and while reading Vanity Fair got a crush on a fetching American human rights activist (that's not generous enough) and followed him to Africa. Except he left Africa and said he'd be right back but he got busy and she was in Uganda on her own.
She was writing an article for the Sunday Times on the what was going down, and had to breeze by a remote school to volunteer teach. The whole thing was a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants affair, and had allusions to celebrities throughout. How unnerving it was to read must have been a taste of how unnerving it was to actually have gone through it. Huge props to Jane.
In her nosing around, and in between her camera, computer and notebook being stolen, Jane uncovered that the bastard child army guy Kony actually was asking for peace talks and it was the very Ugandan government that was sabotaging them. Furthermore, it was to the selfish Ugandan government's benefit to force 1.6 million people out of their homes and into camps under the guise of security, but instead to take advantage of them and brutalize them. It wasn't to protect them from Kony at all.
The whole thing stinks to high heaven, and meanwhile other countries turn their head and let it go on. It's maddening and sickening and revolting and...let this sentence run in the background because it needs to go on for some time.
Jane discovered that the NGOs are actually unwittingly offsetting the corrupt government's budget by providing aid. Of course, the aid is necessary. It's too bad the system in which it's being delivered is such a colossal mess.
General consensus: Highly readable. Hugely shocking. Vital message (about Uganda, of course, but there's also some stuff about Hollywood that will surprise). Suggest you read it, and get back to me.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Book Report #139 - The Honeymoon Effect
The Honeymoon Effect by Bruce Lipton
Cellular biologist Bruce Lipton uses a scientific approach to explaining how the honeymoon effect can last throughout a relationship. He also uses his own life as an example.
The book is highly readable, and even fun. Alhough I had heard the content before, it was presented here in a fresh way that helped me gain new insights.
Most of all, I enjoyed his discussion toward the end on Noble Gases and how they are what we should strive to be in relationships. For the rest of my life, I'll refer to this teaching.
General consensus: Fun, accessible and applicable. Totally recommend, especially for the haters, because Bruce was one once, and there's a good chance he can reach you.
Cellular biologist Bruce Lipton uses a scientific approach to explaining how the honeymoon effect can last throughout a relationship. He also uses his own life as an example.
The book is highly readable, and even fun. Alhough I had heard the content before, it was presented here in a fresh way that helped me gain new insights.
Most of all, I enjoyed his discussion toward the end on Noble Gases and how they are what we should strive to be in relationships. For the rest of my life, I'll refer to this teaching.
General consensus: Fun, accessible and applicable. Totally recommend, especially for the haters, because Bruce was one once, and there's a good chance he can reach you.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Book Report #134 Buddhist Psychology
Buddhist Psychology by Geshe Tashi Tsering
Shoot, I just read this but I don't know how to talk about it in a general way. It's specific and detailed. It's brilliant. But I didn't go to school for twenty years in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery so I'm hesitant to try to summarize it.
Basically, it's stuff you can really use right away for having a better life. It explains where your suffering is coming from in a detailed fashion and explains how you can overcome it. It's not going to happen immediately, but with sustained effort you're sure to succeed.
He urges you to look into everything he is saying and see for yourself if it's true. He explains the mind and how we have to take a good look at it in order to see what is going on. Then, through meditation, we can fine-tune our minds so that they are able to facilitate real happiness.
He also mentions why Western psychology fails-- it reifies the gross misconception of the self that is actually the root of all our suffering. Yay! Someone came out and said it, and they weren't even being a jerk about it. Just factual.
General consensus: I have to read it again and again. This is the good stuff that leads to elimination of suffering for us all!
Shoot, I just read this but I don't know how to talk about it in a general way. It's specific and detailed. It's brilliant. But I didn't go to school for twenty years in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery so I'm hesitant to try to summarize it.
Basically, it's stuff you can really use right away for having a better life. It explains where your suffering is coming from in a detailed fashion and explains how you can overcome it. It's not going to happen immediately, but with sustained effort you're sure to succeed.
He urges you to look into everything he is saying and see for yourself if it's true. He explains the mind and how we have to take a good look at it in order to see what is going on. Then, through meditation, we can fine-tune our minds so that they are able to facilitate real happiness.
He also mentions why Western psychology fails-- it reifies the gross misconception of the self that is actually the root of all our suffering. Yay! Someone came out and said it, and they weren't even being a jerk about it. Just factual.
General consensus: I have to read it again and again. This is the good stuff that leads to elimination of suffering for us all!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Book Report #130 - Vagina: A Biography
Vagina: A Biography by Naomi Wolf
I saw Ms. Wolf introduce this book on The Colbert Report, and I was excited. Here's a book by a Rhodes Scholar that will finally tell all about this amazing body part and inspire women, and in turn men, everywhere! This is our chance to collectively heal and celebrate the feminine spirit!
Uh, no. Wolf sets forth the argument that the vagina is a highly sensitive and complex body part, intimately connected with a woman's consciousness, that when harmed causes horrible damage to her psyche and leaves her depressed and listless. Furthermore, she argues that over the course of human history females have been raped and abused through their vaginas in order to destroy their spirits. She also makes a case that it is important for a woman to have a healthy sexual appetite and enjoy sex in a particular way--not the way society tends to project, but in a kind and loving way. This is essential for a woman to experience transcendental sex and to be fully satisfied sexually. She gives biological evidence for this last claim.
Actually, everything I've said so far about her arguments is fine. I don't have a problem with it. It's the way she makes these arguments that bothers me and made me abandon the book. There's horribly obvious confirmation bias going on. She makes sweeping claims about how the vagina has been perceived throughout history, with minimal examples. She wraps way too much of her alleged research in sentimentality.
Frankly, I think she went too far in her arguments. If she'd scaled back and said there was a tendency for women to grow despondent after sexual abuse because their pelvic nerve was harmed, I could accept that. But she said this is true of all women who have been sexually abused. That's simply not the case. I can present evidence to the contrary right now.
Also, the healing process of the sexual nerve is not exactly essential to the healing of the women's consciousness, at least the way she presented it. Women don't necessarily need vaginal massage to heal their pelvic nerves of sexual trauma. Sometimes they can heal their consciousness directly through methods like spirituality and that heals the body. Sometimes they can heal their relationship that was the source of the trauma and that heals the consciousness which in turn heals the body. There are many possibilities here, which Wolf does not explore.
Furthermore, it's just not true that women need to have sex to be happy. I know many nuns who live rich, happy lives. They are clear in a way that sexually active people are not. I'm not saying being sexually active is bad. I'm just saying there are many ways to approach life, and for women the vagina is not the only way to a satisfying and transcendental experience.
Also, her celebration of the Tantric masters who do vaginal massage concerns me. I have been a Buddhist for awhile, and I've been told that Tantra is only for very serious practitioners who are at a certain level in their practice. Many gurus have told me that it is flat out dangerous for unqualified people to practice it.
General consensus: Essentially a glorified, indulgent, biased grad thesis.
But don't get me wrong--I'm not equivocating the book with the writer. Wolf is brilliant and her motivation here is beautiful. It's just that I have to say she missed the mark.
I saw Ms. Wolf introduce this book on The Colbert Report, and I was excited. Here's a book by a Rhodes Scholar that will finally tell all about this amazing body part and inspire women, and in turn men, everywhere! This is our chance to collectively heal and celebrate the feminine spirit!
Uh, no. Wolf sets forth the argument that the vagina is a highly sensitive and complex body part, intimately connected with a woman's consciousness, that when harmed causes horrible damage to her psyche and leaves her depressed and listless. Furthermore, she argues that over the course of human history females have been raped and abused through their vaginas in order to destroy their spirits. She also makes a case that it is important for a woman to have a healthy sexual appetite and enjoy sex in a particular way--not the way society tends to project, but in a kind and loving way. This is essential for a woman to experience transcendental sex and to be fully satisfied sexually. She gives biological evidence for this last claim.
Actually, everything I've said so far about her arguments is fine. I don't have a problem with it. It's the way she makes these arguments that bothers me and made me abandon the book. There's horribly obvious confirmation bias going on. She makes sweeping claims about how the vagina has been perceived throughout history, with minimal examples. She wraps way too much of her alleged research in sentimentality.
Frankly, I think she went too far in her arguments. If she'd scaled back and said there was a tendency for women to grow despondent after sexual abuse because their pelvic nerve was harmed, I could accept that. But she said this is true of all women who have been sexually abused. That's simply not the case. I can present evidence to the contrary right now.
Also, the healing process of the sexual nerve is not exactly essential to the healing of the women's consciousness, at least the way she presented it. Women don't necessarily need vaginal massage to heal their pelvic nerves of sexual trauma. Sometimes they can heal their consciousness directly through methods like spirituality and that heals the body. Sometimes they can heal their relationship that was the source of the trauma and that heals the consciousness which in turn heals the body. There are many possibilities here, which Wolf does not explore.
Furthermore, it's just not true that women need to have sex to be happy. I know many nuns who live rich, happy lives. They are clear in a way that sexually active people are not. I'm not saying being sexually active is bad. I'm just saying there are many ways to approach life, and for women the vagina is not the only way to a satisfying and transcendental experience.
Also, her celebration of the Tantric masters who do vaginal massage concerns me. I have been a Buddhist for awhile, and I've been told that Tantra is only for very serious practitioners who are at a certain level in their practice. Many gurus have told me that it is flat out dangerous for unqualified people to practice it.
General consensus: Essentially a glorified, indulgent, biased grad thesis.
But don't get me wrong--I'm not equivocating the book with the writer. Wolf is brilliant and her motivation here is beautiful. It's just that I have to say she missed the mark.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Book Report #104 - The Bookseller of Kabul
The Bookseller of Kabul
by Asne Seierstad
This is a true and gripping story of an Afghani family told from the perspective of a woman who was granted the right to live with and observe them.
Frankly, it's a maddening story. These women are so repressed it's hard to believe. Through arranged marriages and the need to wear burkas they hardly have any freedom at all. Of course, life after the Taliban should be freer but so many are trapped in the mindset of the civil war, kind of like Americans who lived through the Depression will never be fully free of the lifestyle it forced them into.
The life of the men is not necessarily a sweet one either. This story covers the lives of many members of a family in an intense and lyrical way.
General consensus: I will never forget this story.
by Asne SeierstadThis is a true and gripping story of an Afghani family told from the perspective of a woman who was granted the right to live with and observe them.
Frankly, it's a maddening story. These women are so repressed it's hard to believe. Through arranged marriages and the need to wear burkas they hardly have any freedom at all. Of course, life after the Taliban should be freer but so many are trapped in the mindset of the civil war, kind of like Americans who lived through the Depression will never be fully free of the lifestyle it forced them into.
The life of the men is not necessarily a sweet one either. This story covers the lives of many members of a family in an intense and lyrical way.
General consensus: I will never forget this story.
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