Book Report #177 Drop the Ball

Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less by Tiffany Dufu

Tiffany Dufu is a super accomplished woman (I can't even begin to start detailing all her achievements) who got vulnerable and wrote a book about how she managed to drop the ball.

By dropping the ball, she means no longer trying to be a perfectionist as a wife, mother, and employee. She realizes she doesn't have to do it all flawlessly; she can let go of her need to control and instead enlist the help of others, and even do so with joy. She learns that, although scary at first, this approach is actually healthier and better for everybody. It's an approach that leads to her whole family thriving.

It's a highly readable book, peppered with Tiffany's personal anecdotes, as well as supporting research. The introduction by Gloria Steinem is magnificent.

I felt a little left out because I'm a high-achieving single woman, and the book was positioned for high-achieving married mothers. I don't have a husband who can help me drop the ball, so I'm not sure how to employ a lot of her advice. I decided to read it for when I have my own family more than for my current situation.

General consensus: Great ideas to facilitate conversation and gender equality.

Book Report #174 Feminist Fight Club

Feminist Fight Club: An Office Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace by Jessica Bennett

If you're looking for a light read that has some good ideas about how to handle sexism in your workplace, look no further. The recommendation for women to have a support group to help them keep up morale while fighting sexism is good. And there were solid ideas of how to go about the fight.

I personally didn't find it that useful because in my experience, sexism in the workplace is often a complicated matter. If there were no negative repercussions to women speaking up, then it wouldn't be that hard. But there are a lot of reasons women find themselves unable to be bold in the face of sexism and harassment. I didn't feel like the book validated that.

If a woman has been abused and/or assaulted, sexually or otherwise, some of the fight can go out of her (especially if it's happening repeatedly). Also, women don't want to lose their jobs or face retaliation, so they are often scrambling for ways to play the game while still standing up for themselves. It's a dance where misstepping could have serious consequences.

So yeah, it's cool to read a book that's very rah-rah about how to go about fighting sexism in the workplace, but I felt like it wasn't taking into consideration some of the larger problems at play. And that was disappointing.

General consensus: Was looking for something a bit deeper so didn't do the trick for me.

Book Review #150 - The Fifth Agreement

The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery (Toltec Wisdom) by Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Jose Ruiz and Janet Mills

This is the follow-up to The Four Agreements. It includes a recap of those and then gets into the fifth agreement. Apparently we weren't ready for it until now.

I read this book last week in one sitting, and I can't even remember the fifth agreement. But I can tell you this: I benefited from reading this, and so did my mom. We think about it, and it makes us calmer people who experience joy more easily.

Right now all I'm thinking about is what I believe is the third agreement, which is to not assume. I'm really trying to work with this every day. And it does make a huge difference. I've stopped playing out scenarios in my mind and suffering needlessly. Or at least I'm catching myself when I do it.

I feel like this is one of those books that can seem like it's too simple and obvious to really do anything, but it gets into you. And you're forever changed, even if you make little effort. And then every time you read it, it changes you further. It's one of those books that's almost a living organism. It's magic!

General consensus: It's not going to be the most academic thing you've ever read, but it is powerful nonetheless. Recommend it!

Book Report #144 - The Manifestation Manifesto

The Manifestation Manifesto: Amazing Techniques and Strategies to Attract the Life You Want - No Visualization Required by Rob Morrison

This is a quick read and it's available on Kindle for $2.99. My reliable friend recommended it and I read it in one sitting. I feel great.

General consensus: Like The Secret, but without the extra noise. Just the parts you can use, and use immediately!

Book Report #132 - Wabi Sabi Love

Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships by Arielle Ford

Look. I want all the answers to pulling off a perfect relationship as much as the next gal, but the advice I got here just didn't cut it. It's about seeing imperfection in your partner as a perfection. Or something like that.

I wasn't born yesterday. Something is one or the other but they're opposites so one thing can't be both.

I only got through something like twenty pages but I am NOT going to love say, fishing, just cause my partner does and I want to make it work. I don't expect anyone I date to develop a passion for pro tennis. We all have different interests and they are NOT imperfections. Good lord.

General consensus: Nope. Try again.

Book Report #120 - Zen and the Art of Intimacy

Zen and the Art of Intimacy: The Simple Path of Passion, Fidelity and Love by Arthur Samuels, M.D.

This was a beautiful read. First we are taught how to love ourselves and given a simple yet highly effective meditation to get there. Then we are led through an intimate relationship from start to finish and shown how it is really possible to not get angry and instead celebrate your partner so that true intimacy can be shared. I have so much hope.

General consensus: Reading that felt like the best hug ever.

Book Report #119 - Who Moved My Cheese?

Who Moved My Cheese?: An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life bySpencer Johnson

There are these two mice and these two dinky human-like creatures and they all run around in a maze and find their cheese. They return every day to eat their cheese. The mice keep their running shoes tied around their necks and check out the scene for change before eating while the human-like creatures just dive right in. The human-like creatures grow more and more complacent until the cheese is no longer there. The mice were prepared and run off in search of new cheese while the human-like creatures sit around and bemoan their luck. They are slow to adapt and one doesn't make it.

It's pretty obvious stuff but for some reason it really resonated with the world.

General consensus: Insipid.

Book Report #118 - Mother Warriors

Mother Warriors: A Nation of Parents Healing Autism Against All Odds by Jenny McCarthy

I didn't know until earlier this year that autism could be reversed. I was curious to learn more so I picked up this book and got rocked.

Jenny's son got autism right after a vaccination but doctors disregarded the connection. She had to fight every step of the way to make her son better and she had to fight to share her story. She has so much to say and there's so much for us to learn.

Kid's can get better from autism and it should be common knowledge. The stories of these mother warriors touched my heart and by the end of the book I was crying. It's such a difficult battle but imagine getting breast cancer on top of it or not having the support of your spouse or actually losing your child.

General consensus: Life-changing.

Book Report #103 - You On Top

You On Top: Smart, Sexy Skills Every Woman Needs to Set the World on Fire by Kate White

I'm a sucker for the bargain bin at Barnes and Noble. Thankfully I have a limit of three books per trip. This one managed to make it in my stack.

Kate White is the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine as well as a successful mystery writer. She condenses the best material she's gleaned from her years at Cosmo and shares it in this book.

It's helpful. Not as helpful as stuff the Dalai Lama might say but it's not bad. I'm kind of tired of thinking about how to please a man, though.

General consensus: Empowerment Sex & the City-style.

Book Report #102 - The Art of Happiness

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by the Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler

Did you know this written by a psychologist? It made for an interesting take on the Dalai Lama. It was kind of comical. He would hear the Dalai Lama say something and then furrow his brow as he tried to make it fit into what he knew about psychology.

The Dalai Lama had some fantastically helpful things to say about how to cope with suffering, how to have a sense of urgency in your life and how to approach romance. Basically when we are following our purpose it leads to happiness so that's how you can tell whether you're doing something good or bad. If it's bad it's going to lead to suffering and he says the whole point to life is happiness.

General consensus: Pretty great but you have to take it slow and really absorb it.

Book Report #95 - The Traveler's Gift

The Young Traveler's Gift: Seven Decisions That Determine Personal Success by Andy Andrews

I had high hopes for this. So much for New York Times Bestsellers.

The protagonist, whose name I can't remember and I just finished the thing, has that intense high-level corporate job that ends in a pile of rubble. He loses everything and slinks home to his wife and daughter with his sob story, crying, "Why did this happen to me?"

It's hardly tolerable at that point, especially with the dry writing, but wait! When his daughter needs her tonsils removed and he gets fired from his ridiculous part-time job at the hardware store he considers killing himself in his car. On impact he doesn't die but is whisked away to Potsdam to meet Harry Truman who has wisdom to espouse and a document to give him that has all the wisdom on it.

Need I go on?

General consensus: Has some moments of wisdom but is not the best self-help book out there considering the reader struggles to ever buy in to the story.

Book Report #94 - He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Behrendt, the only guy at the Sex and the City writers meetings, was shocked to find how many excuses women make to believe that guys are into them. Here he reveals just how wrong we are in an unyielding Dear Abby format. Tuccillo is there to cushion the blows.

Turns out that a guy is not that into you if he's mean to you, breaking up with you or married to another woman. Groundbreaking! No really. It somehow is. Maybe because we haven't graduated from that cruel sandbox flirtation in kindergarten?

General consensus: Was surprised to find that while it held obvious truths I loved it. It is funny and necessary.

(Saw the movie the day that I finished it and liked that too! I can't wait to discuss it with someone.)

Book Report #72 - How To Stop Worrying and Start Living

How To Stop Worring and Start Living by Dale Carnegie

This book is officially my textbook for life. I bought it for my mom and then I read it. Don't tell her. It still looks brand new.

Mr. Carnegie gives us clearly stated, obvious yet powerful methods for conquering worry. Then he gives us a bunch of reasons why we must conquer worry. Then he gives us so many inspirational stories about people who have done it themselves that we have no recourse. We have to throw up our hands and say, "All right! I'll do it!"

I can't wait until my own copy comes in the mail. I'm going to take it chapter by chapter and absorb every suggestion into my daily living.

General consensus: This book is a blessing.

Book Report #62

The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen R. Covey

I love self-help books. I think Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People is fantastic. And I'd heard such good things about this one that I was looking forward to reading it.

What a disappointment. I can't stand when I pick up a book and it assumes I am riddled with deficiencies. The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People assumes that I need to make a zillion changes within myself and purports to tell me how to go about doing that. No thanks. I'm doing fine.

Covey did nothing to convince me that he was even an authority on these matters which made his assertions that much easier to disregard. Plus, his writing was a disgrace. He put no priority on efficient communication. His concepts were simple and the whole thing could have been done in ten pages rather than 300.

General consensus: I'm blown away that this guy has pages of credible sources saying his book is excellent. Now my reliance on these sources is in question.

Book Review #45

Coach Wooden's Pyramid of Success: Building Blocks for a Better Life by John Wooden and Jay Carty

We all find John Wooden, the coach of UCLA's basketball dynasty, to be absolutely charming in his pure, country bumpkin, God-fearing ways. And what's more charming than him explaining his Pyramid of Success? It just gives you a good, warm feeling to hear him talking about developing your virtues. I could have done without all the Jesus talk and Bible verses that Jay Carty provided but hey, it takes all kinds.

General consensus: Read it whenever you need to a pep talk.

Book Review #24

What Color Is Your Parachute? 2007: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers (What Color Is Your Parachute) by Richard Nelson Bolles

This is apparently the most popular career guide out there. It was written by a man who will bluntly tell you he isn't an expert on the subject, he's just great at research. The honesty is admirable, but the content of it worrisome. Plus, he writes with a Christian perspective. Ooh boy.

I was disappointed. He wrote a report with an imaginative format, some would call it disorganized, and comic strips that I didn't find funny. I realize that career-hunting--I really thought he should have used these words instead of "job-hunting"--should be a laborious process (ha! laborious) because you shouldn't take shortcuts, but should reading about it be just as draining? I was looking for inspiration and didn't find it.

Time to read: I skimmed it and threw it aside for about three weeks
General consensus: I wish it had been about skydiving.

Book Review #8

Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Joel Osteen

When I saw the cover of this book which has a gold background and a thrilled, Caucasian, middle-aged man grinning on the cover, I thought to myself, "Who does this guy think he is to write something like this?" Actually, verbatim my thought was, "Who's this chucka?"

Last night I handed the book to Dustin, my husband, to see if he would read it. He scanned the back and reported to me that it was written by a pastor in Houston. Of course that's the kind of person who would have the nerve to write something like this. Groan.

Dustin skimmed the text to give it a chance. I thought that was very kind. He read a selection to me that said something like, "If your business is not doing well just pray to God and expect him to bring customers." What? Didn't The Bible say, "God helps those who help themselves?" Ugh.

Length of time to read before banishing from my presence: 30 seconds
General consensus: A real cringe-fest.